Still not out yet... My librarian results, I mean. I can't stand this anymore, the suspense and those heart-dropping seconds whenever I step into the library. I almost got freaked out when I saw a list on the notice board until I got a closer look at it and realized it's not it. Mun Leng is feeling nervous too. Oh, god, please give Mun Leng and I a chance so we can both be librarians and hang out and be besties. And I can chat with Nandynii too. And everyone I got to know during my librarian try-out period.

Anyway, I and Suet Yee presented our Geography powerpoint. Really lame. All we did was read from the computer and I had to shout for the whole class to hear 'cause the freakin' loudspeaker won't work. Plus, the whole class weren't paying any attention-figures. It's 3G, for god's sake! Who cares??

Yesterday, we-I mean the class, drove Pn. Sophia up the wall. Teacher couldn't take it anymore that she asked for Pn. Ung to control us but Pn. Ung's not in Bilik HEM. Too bad for Sophia and lucky us-everyone was not in their seat where their arranged to by Latha. I don't know if Sophia had decided not to come in to class anymore but, I'll have to wait till Friday to find out. After Sejarah, everyone was scrambling back to thier"real" seat. It is hilarious, watching the class go haywire like that. Marianne had to change 3 times!


And poor Anushiya, got "bullied" by Magdalene with the racist joke yesterday. It was hilarious.

Today, I am being quiet. I was reading Gossip Girl and was being anti-social. Mag said I had been quiet for 32 hours now...though I am pretty sure I wasn't being THAT quiet on Monday. Whatever. I am just not in the mood for sociallizing now.

Still waiting.....




(above, FMA and Tears to Tiara.)


Hoshino- sensei is really, really, a kind and wonderful teacher. Love her! I forgot to bring my Japanese textbook to class yesterday(Saturday) and when I told her about me, being so forgetful like a 90 year old grandma(kinda, since I'm still not that fluent xD), and sensei, instead of saying, "wasuremashita ka?" and then walk away, sensei actually photo copy the whole lesson for that day from her textbook! I felt so ashamed of myself. Arigato gozaimashita, sensei~ I hope that I can continue with her throughout my Japanese course.



I didn't go for my school Sports Day today AND I'm actually suppose to receive my medal for getting 3rd for the school's cross-country xD. So, I guess that they announced my name and there's no one on the podium for number 3. Hahaha. LOL. I'm just too lazy and, I'm trying to run away from a certain SOMEONE...who had been forcing me to run 6 events...freaky. How can I run? I never even go for training? I'm just gonna humiliate myself! That's what I've been trying to tell HER. Anyway, I'm pretty scared to face her in school tommorrow. She's gonna hate me. A LOT. And probably wouldn't wanna talk to me again... I'M REALLY SORRYYY! I JUST CAN"T AFFORD TO HUMILIATE MYSELF!!!

I've got another reason to be nervous tommorrow too.... that is... WILL I FINALLY BE ACCEPTED AS A LIBRARIAN?????

Today, my family and I went to the temple. And, yep, I prayed..."please, please let me pass the librarian test...please, give me a chance to be a librarian...and oh, please let Mun Leng be accepted too. So that we can remain friends..."

I know, I sounded desperate. But I am deperate. I really want this thing!

Please... PUH-LEASE! OH, PRETTY PLEASE...

Today, I watched Boys Over Flower(Korean version) in KBS World and it rocks- eventhough I watched the series at episode 17. I totally regret missing out this series. I totally wanna watch the Japanese verson too. AND Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and Tears to Tiara totally rocks! Finally, Animax has broadcast not just 1 anime but 2 at the same time as Japan! Plus, there's the repeats too. So, I won't miss anything and I can even watch the shows twice! Hahaha.




Ish..I was darn nervous when I was doing my ujian bertulis 2 for my librarian percubaan test. There were a few question that I don't know and I wrote some stuff wrongly for bahagian B. Aiyooo.... I memorized every single teachers name and the top 5 and the Libray Angels too and nothing came out about names. what the hell. Anyway, the processing book test was alright...except that I did a mistake-I chopped upside down. Great... everything was perfect except that disastrous mistake made it imperfect. I was thinking of admiring my great work but... the flaw just made my intention dissappear.
Then, I am required to put 3 books back in order according to alphabetical order and their colour. I got a little confuse. I hope the librarian who was judging me is a linient person. She looks kind and friendly though.

Oh god, please, please give me a chance- I really, really want to be a librarian
I know I once said I didn't cared because I was so frustrated at the low marks I got for the first written test but still...

I really cared!

...can't wait for the result....

Oh yeah...don't bother asking me about Leo I.U....I don't know how to describe how it went but it was BORING. Most of the performance sucks...totally not worth my 60 bucks.. Why do I even bother about looking great..not like everyone's gonna notice how stupid I look. Well, no offence to people out there who had a great time and those people who performed that night. You know, I DON'T mean EVERY single performance-only SOME.

*Note: Everything I said up there is the total opposite. Of coures it's great-what am I paying RM 60 for? Plus, yummy food and I got to do shopping. What a package! LOL. Ignore my total randomness...I seriously got nothing to do. xD



Thanks, mum for taking me go see some dresses and being really patient- and kor kor, for helping me pick a dress. I really appreciate it. Thank you! I am quite prepared now, I guess, even though I have to wear my glasses xD. But still, I realize that, I don't have to try too hard looking great. I will just be myself, and wearing glasses is more like me. Anyway, I should learn to appreciate my spectacles- they have been helping me with my sight and had been sitting on my nose for almost 10 years now. It's like a part of me : )


I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself and on my parents because can't really blame them for controlling our spending and I'm only 15 anyway, they are my parents after all.

So, I should probably enjoy myself and have a great time in I.U. tommorrow.

Peace~



Oh my god... Leo I.U.'s tommorrow and I don't have a dress!!... Whatever. Just forget it. Firstly, I would totally look like some freaking geek, who wears glasses over her mascara-ed eyes and it's too late for contacts. My mum took me to an eyewear shop in Taipan and inquired about it. And surprise, surprise, the contacts can only be ready by Monday- which by then, Leo I.U. is so OVER. I knew it anyway. I actually planned last Monday to get a disposable pair of contact lens for the special night but I didn't get to ask my parents about it because my mum was totally going on and on about my stupid brother who don't know how to settle his own Canadian pre-U stuff and how my mum had to do all the job. My dad? Oh noo... my dad would totally say no. Why? My dad would start preeching me about spending money and to make me feel guilty, my dad would list down all the stuff that I bought last month. Oh, and my mum will to. Secondly, my parents totally do NOT understand what's going on here. They expect me to just put on a dress which I wore it when I was 13 years old, which is two years ago and show up in front of everyone-TEENAGERS, mum, not KINDERGARTEN-ERS. She believes that all my friends will turn up all INNOCENT, wearing pink, frilly dress, all covered up in many layers. OMG...my mum should totally read a fashion magazine.


My mum was blaming me for this last minute shopping. It's so unfair. She is ALWAYS busy on weekdays and she said so herself, never bug her on a weekday and I never did. Because I know how her temper is and she will keep babbling NON-STOP. Plus, my bro got a new set of tux for last I.U. night but why not me?? Even my parents, my mum and my dad, BOTH were totally excited for my bro that they go all the way to Subang Parade to go shop for his new tux, leaving me and my sis bored to death, waiting for my brother to pick a tux. They didn't even complain a single thing about the price- AT ALL and my bro went for BOTH Leo and INTERACT I.U.. And now, all my mum ever did was take me to TAIPAN to shop for a dress and I didn't even pick one yet because today was very hectic and my mum wasn't even in the mood because she had to fetch my sister, then me to my Japanese lesson. I was really frustrated. But I know, gotta keep cool........It's so UNFAIR!!!!


The turn-up in Japanese lesson today was really bad. There was only 7 students in the class including me. Probably it's because school's on today for some school. at least I got to put my problems aside for awhile. I love learning Japanese-eventhough it's getting tougher. It's interesting and Hoshino-sensei is a great teacher.

Now, my mood has change. I hate myself for buying the ticket. I hate myself for wanting to go in the first place. What was I thinking?? There won't be friends there AND my chance of looking great for once has just fly away...poof! Gone. Maybe I am a total loser...





So eventually, Archuleta performed in KDU. Wow, the students of KDU are definitely lucky people. It's not everyday that you have a superstar performing LIVE in your school-plus, being the chosen school among thousands of school in the whole of Malaysia. I heard they even have a CHAT with DAVID ARCHULETA
(OMG...imagine, ME chatting with Avril Lavinge...CHATTING! With a super awesome person who had been your inspiration) Anyway, David Archuleta will be performing in Sunway tommorrow, which have Marianne, Samantha and the others totally psyched about it. Yep, they will be going for the promo concert tommorrow. And they were making a banner in the library and during P.E today. Totally "Archuleta spirit" atmosphere today.(And yesterday too) Actually, I can get the ticket just by buying his album-RM 40~50 and ta-da! I'll be on my way to meeting a superstar real life for once. Just that, I don't suppose my mum would actually drive me to Subang Parade specially to get his album. Besides, my parents would totally object about buying his album. They knew about Ares, so they think, why waste money when you can actually download all the songs in the computer AND to top that up, I would have to save for a new dress for Leo I.U. this Sunday.

Tight budget...maybe what I present for BM oral today about "keluarga miskin" is true- my family's going broke!





Just installed a Cbox into my blog yesterday-Thanks to Marianne. Love you darlingg~ Not much happened-- Just that I am real sleepy(was doing my over-due Art homework, the kolaj is really hard work-I haven't finish doing yet and it was already past 12 midnight!) and almost slept in Science tuition xD. Will be going to Ace at 8.oo later. Hope that everyone forgets my total blunder last week.

Oh yeah, me and Sher Mun had a long chat today. I didn't know we had that much in common--Weight conscious people! Hahahaha.




Today, my family I will be going to visit my father's father grave, in Klang. This will be my brother, me and my little sister's first visit to the grave. Yep, we have not really celebrated Cheng Beng before. Probably my mum and dad didn't want to bring us there when we were still young. Moreover, my uncle's the one who told my parents that we should celebrate Cheng Beng together. (Maybe it's about my brother and my cousin, both leaving for Canada in August this year) So, it's pretty weird to say "Oh my god, I'm so excited, my first time going to the graveyard!" Yeah, really weird. But anyway, it will be exciting to see how people actually celebrated Cheng Beng xD

Oh yeah. Yesterday, I went Sunway with Chiah Wen. We actually went there to watch a movie but the tickets are sold out. So, we planned to play bowling instead and I am suppose to meet Chiah Wen in A&W and guess what happened? I was lost!! Hahaha! I magine, being lost in Sunway Pyramid. I was walking aimlessly, like a lost kid, with Chiah Wen as my GPR, telling me if I am close or not by telling her names of the shops I passed by. Kinda reminded me of the game I used to play when I was young- Hot or Cold, where it gets hotter when you get closer to something and colder when you getting away from something LOL. Anyway, we met up in Asian Avenue instead. And didn't get to bowl too-had to wait and hour! plus I didn't bring my socks. We ended up shopping, more like window shopping.
**By the way, saw Magdalene with her family when I was "sesat-ing".

Oh great! I just got a call from Chiah Wen. She booked the tickets already for Confessions of a Shopaholic. Guess we're meeting up again. Actually I watched the movie already in Summit last, last week but I don't mind, watching again. The movie rocks! All you bloggers out there should watch it. It's cool. Isla Fisher's is really funny in there plus, love her clothes in the movie.







My presentation was TERRIBLE. Horrible, disastrous, a total failure. This is just my second month in teacher's Ann class. I started in March after I change class from teacher Kim-she is an amazing and cool teacher and I really want her as my teacher but sadly, the class wasn't as good as her. They were really anti-social and the guys and girls were sitting far apart like from a total different planet. The class was really quiet, like a grave and no one even bothered to introduce themselves. I didn't give much thought to that because it was the beginning of the year anyway, probably need more time to get "warmed up". Even an anti-social like me, I was surprise that I was the first one to actually say the simple word that is always use when you're meeting new people "hello". Expecting a warm, loud and cheery reply, just like my friends from my class last year, their "hello" was hardly audible and some even avoided my gaze and turned to face their friends or exchange glances with their friends. It really took me by surprise. The reactions I received was totally different from my friends in my class last year. (Anisa, Wen Li, Lisa, Jun Kit..) That's when I found out that most of the students in the class had joined Ace not long ago or just started joining Ace and I knew that's not the class for me. At least for an anti-social like me- I can't get anywhere from there with mixing with people that is on the same level as my quiet, low-confident person in me.

So, I decided to change to teacher Ann's class. The class is the totally opposite from that class-it is so chatty, and lively and I was even greeted by a guy, whom I noticed the most talkative, with "Hey, sexy!" I was clearly taken by surprise. Not only with the open "hello" but with the vast difference between the two classes. When I got there, I made quite a few friends with the girls. I even know one of them from the Ace Maths class( which I already quit xD), Ling Wai, and her friend Sue-En. I even got to know a girl, who speaks really good English, Rebecca. I began to settle in a little.

I tried to tell myself that I can fit in this class, which is a really huge one too and I had started in a small class since last year, so I wasn't use to a big class, eventhough deep down inside, I am beginning to feel intimidated and feeling small. Nevertheless, the class is still fun to be in. Teacher Ann gave us games to play. I tried my best to be chatty as I can be but sometimes, I often let a conversation, even with Ling Wai, close up real fast that I will be once again found myself being alone with Ling Wai, busy chatting with Sue-En. I didn't have the courage to join in the conversation...and I don't know why..just like in science tuition between Anisa and Wen Li. (Maybe I was feeling intimidated when Wen Li's there... I think?) So, I just kept myself busy with work.

The same thing would happen in school. Like when Marianne speak Magdalene, I just let it be without even stepping in, eventhough Magdalene is my wonderful and funny friend and had kept me company. Sometimes I feel like I am too quiet and dull to be her friend or whenever Xian Ting, Priya, Jeanne and Emily are talking and there I am, always on the sideline. This made me feeling so self-conscious all the time . I became more withdrawn by constantly bringing storybooks to school to read just to keep myself busy. I am completely in my own world. And I am sick of it. But what can I do?? Be more talkative?? But how?? When can I finally break through my shell??

Anyway, today, I just embarrassed myself by my boring speech and I think my nervousness is written clearly all over my face. I saw someone even snored but there are some who still listen, and I really appreciate that. I am really dissapointed in myself. I got an A- for it.

I cried just now and me and my mum had a heart-to- heart chat. I wasn't crying over that crappy presentation. I just thought about my past, when I was a really chatty and not to forget a rough and naughty young brat too. Do you know that when I was in standard 1, my class teacher actually tape my mouth just because I couldn't stop talking and even tied me to my chair because I move around too much? That I wonder, what made me change into a boring, dull, low confident person??

I guess it's because I can't take people talking bad about me. I was once criticized for being such a tomboy that I should just be a boy and mix with them, which at that time, boys were referred to as dirty, smelly, sweaty, naughty brats, and I was kinda like them. Prove? I got scolded by one of my friends mum who personally met me because her daughter complained that I hit her too hard. Maybe I was playing too roughly with her but the incident left a great impact on me. I think, that's when I started reinventing, changing myself and I wasn't happy at all. It took me a long time to realize it. I've been letting these people bring me down and making me feel small that I felt worthless, and a nobody. I realize that I have to stop letting people change me and be who I am.

I think I can finally understand this quote: I AM WHAT I AM.

All thanks to my mum =)



Lady GaGa!!
Can looks be deceiving?

I am terribly nervous now. I have only less than an hour to memorize my speech! Plus today, I had a terrible flu, my eyes were watering, I felt terrible- I couldn't bring myself up to blow my nose, you know, it's bad manners and kinda embarrassing. Luckily, Syazza gave me a tissue. Arigato, Syazza~ and Priya's "bless you" when I went "Aaa...choooo"! This sudden flu I've got is probably my lack of sleep. I had only 5 hours of sleep yesterday- was doing my Geografi assignment and was oblivious of the time.

Now, I'm still really tired. I was half asleep during my Science tuition. By the way, Wen Li's there too and Anisa was really happy to see her, after they haven't seen each other for awhile now since Anisa quitted Ace.

Oh yeah, today I found out a shocking news from Priya, that Megan Fox is actually a GUY??! She-or he was a BOY when she/he was young and went for surgery to change her/his physical appearance, according to the rumor, plus, she did say-jokingly, that she's was a guy but then she said it wasn't a joke?? AND Lady GaGa actually signed on a guys....OMG how do I put it.. PRIVATE PART??? I know, totally GROSS. Apparently, Lady GaGa agreed but she said she did it because that guy requested it. What is happening to the world??!

But anyway, Lady GaGa still rocks, and Megan Fox is hot- anyway, if the rumor's true, I'll have nothing up against me because I'm a girl and I'm suppose to be attracted to the opposite sex and Megan Fox will be a really bee-yeu-ti-ful guy. LOL what am I saying, attracted to a guy pretending to be a girl????

And, as I was heading up the stairs to school at the back gate, a guy handed me an advertisement-2 in fact, on the David Archuleta live concert in Malaysia. There was even a someone, taking photos there. so I quickly grabbed it and rush up the stairs. I gave the papers, with Archuleta's picture and Xian Ting was comparing his look to someone else just to annoy Emily(hahaha) Later during Chinese, Marianne cut Archuleta's face and pasted it at her forehead, at first, then Magdalene suggested she paste it over the school's badge (I'm from D.A school! LOL). Then, we were talking about some jokes (My mother is so fat, that her waistline is as wide as kathulistiwa, hahaha!)